Welcome to Week 10 Team Blitzed. We’ve reached the halfway point and so far, your Barkeep has gone 3 for 3 on drinks for the guys, as well as two out of three on his Game of the Week predictions. The Saints killed it this week taking down the previously unbeaten Rams in convincing fashion. From the wicked hangover Stats Guy had the next morning, the guys also took down the Vieux Carré in convincing fashion and produced yet another great show. If only saying the name was as easy as it was to drink. You can listen to it here:
Being the Mid-Point of the season, I decided to offer up my Blitzed Barkeep’s MVP race. This however, will have a bartender’s twist to it. You see, there are different types of bartenders based on their style of serving drinks. These are my (and pretty much everyone else’s who’s paid attention this year) top four MVP candidates at this point in the 2018 NFL season.
THE MIXOLOGIST- Drew Brees
A mixologist in the bar industry is someone who genuinely cares about their craft. They study it. They understand it. They live it. But most importantly, they’re better at it than you. They balance everything and can make anything in the bar work together just by looking it. It’s a real treat to be served by a mixologist. This is Drew Brees. He’s smart, crafty and he makes every weapon in his arsenal more dangerous. At the age of 39, he’s having one of the best seasons ever for a QB in history. If ever he deserved the award, it’s this year.
Blitzed MVP Stats: 76.3% 2,336 yds, 18 TDs 1 INT
THE FLAIR BARTENDER- Patrick Mahomes II
A flair bartender puts on a show. They flip bottles behind their back, pour 10 shots at a time out of shakers five feet in the air and light drinks on fire before sliding them across the bar to you. They’re exciting, entertaining and people are drawn to flair bartenders because hell, they’re cool. Patrick Mahomes II is the definition of cool. He grew up hanging out with MLB superstars. He never panics. He’ll escape, run around seemingly for fun all while taunting the defenders then uncork a 75 yard pass- IN THE AIR- for a TD and smile while doing it. More importantly his team is winning to the tune of an 8-1 record and the current home-field advantage in the playoffs.
Blitzed MVP Stats: 66.2% 2,901 yds, 29 TDs 7 INTs
THE DIVE BARTENDER- Todd Gurley
Dive bartenders are gritty, hard workers that work in the trenches. Their workplace is not very clean. They have loyal customers who will come back over and over for the same crappy beer because it’s their bar and you’re their bartender. Todd Gurley is certainly the dive bartender of my candidates. He’s not flashy. He doesn’t really need anyone else. But damn he’s good. He shows up day in and day out and gets the job done no matter what. LA loves him and he’s their running back.
Blitzed MVP Stats: 868 rush yds 12 TDs, 37 catches 362 yds 4TDs
THE CLUB BARTENDER- Aaron Rodgers
This is the unsung drink slinger of the bartending world. The workplace is hot and loud. Drinks are spilling everywhere. Customers have no idea what they’re ordering and its chaos night in and night out. Aaron Rodgers’ talents seem to be lost in Green Bay. It’s chaos all around him and the team never seems to get it together. He consistently puts together MVP statistics every year but the team does not. He deserves better- plain and simple. Oh, and he’s basically done it this year on one leg.
Blitzed MVP Stats: 60.6% 2,542 yds, 15 TDs 1 INT
While those four guys are having great years, the Blitzed Bar_keep’s Twitter Poll landed on a team that’s not having an MVP-type year for this week’s Game of the Week. The Buffalo Bills’ season has left many from the Bills Mafia with a reason to get Blitzed. Therefore, this week’s drink of the week is the Roaming Buffalo Cocktail, inspired by the Buffalo Bills.
Roaming Buffalo Cocktail
1 1/2 oz. Buffalo Trace Bourbon
1/2 oz. Light Rum
1 dash(es) Grenadine
1/4 oz. Lemon Juice
1/4 oz. Orange Juice
Blitzed Build: Combine ingredients with ice into a shaker. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with small lemon or orange slice.
Originally, the story line for this game was interesting. This would be 3rd overall pick Sam Darnold facing off for the first time against 7th overall pick Josh Allen. Many Bills and Jets fans hoped that this would be the beginning of a great quarterback rivalry and the changing of the guard in the AFC East. Instead, we get Derek Anderson *Bills Mafia drink* or Nathan Peterman *Bills Mafia takes ten drinks* vs Josh McCown *Jets fans drink*.
I am however, your Blitzed Barkeep so here is how this will play out. The Buffalo Bills, fuelled on the power of the Roaming Buffalo, turn again to Nathan Peterman after Derek Anderson proves ineffective in the first half. With the score tied 0-0, Peterman lifts up his jersey to reveal a Superman logo and says he was hustling us all along and starts tossing perfect pass after perfect pass. The Bills put on an offensive show in the 2nd half scoring six touchdowns (doubling their season total) and the Jets never knew what hit them. Peterman’s streak of pick 6’s ends and he is named starter for the rest of the year. The city of Buffalo builds him a statue and names an elementary school after him to apologize for starting a GoFundMe retirement fund.
Fortunately, reality has set in and I’ve sobered up a bit from my Roaming Buffalos. The Bills are not going to be fixed offensively this year. They simply don't have the talent on the OL or in the WR groups, and are performing at a historically bad rate this year. The Jets have a good defense and will have zero problems handling the ineptitude of the Bills offense. A mistake by the Bills with a short field, or too many three and outs will lead the Jets to a very ugly victory.
Final Score Prediction: Jets 12 Bills 6
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 10.
The Blitzed Barkeep is a #TeamBlitzed All Pro from Bills Mafia. You can follow Blitzed Barkeep on Twitter here.