Welcome to Week 8, Blitzers. Last week I gave the guys over at Blitzed NFL a Bengal Tiger Martini to review. I have to admit, from a bartender’s point of view, the Blitzed crew's analyses of the drinks were pretty good. However, not everyone is going to enjoy the drink you make (more on that later). The Coach’s assessment of Drew Brees brought a little tear to my eye. No, it had nothing to do with me rubbing my face while cutting lemons for my shift behind the bar. Brees is worthy of every accolade he has accomplished in the NFL and more. In case you’re living under a rock, here are his career stats:
Even better, he has more yards passing than Tom Brady and to this barkeep, anyone who has more than Brady of ANYTHING and didn’t cheat to get it is alright in my book. On top of that, he joined the illustrious 500 TD club this past weekend. So tonight Mr. Brees, your tab is on the Rookie's host replacement last week, the Sub, because his review of my Bengal Tiger Martini left a little to be desired for this Blitzed Barkeep.
Let’s move on. Week 7 was so full of shenanigans it makes your Blitzed Barkeep think that some of the players snuck booze into the locker room before the game just to spice things up. First, you had the Fail Mary by Trubisky and Da Bears came up just one yard short. Solution? Make your drink a little stronger and throw the ball INTO the end zone. We all wanted a victory for you against the Evil Empire.
Next, argue all you want, but I salute you Tennessee Titans. Down one point, you took your shot and went for two to win the game. I don’t agree with the play call but kudos to you for going after the prettiest girl in the bar. Next time, have a better pick up line and you may come away with the win.
Finally, there’s the ugly quarterback situation in Buffalo that every NFL team is envious of. NOT. So far they’ve had two freshman and a guy who graduated college 10 years ago try to hang with the Seniors from the frat house. Long story short, it’s usually going to end with one person holding someone else’s hair over the toilet while the lightweight pukes up the happy hour appetizer. No team’s fan base should be subject to this kind of mismanagement but hey, at least they like to drink!
Speaking of drinking, this is ‘Behind the Sticks’ after all. There’s a rematch of a game this week that caused plenty of fans to do plenty of drinking. Allow your Bartender take you back in time to January 14, 2018. With :10 seconds remaining in the NFC Divisional Round game, the Minnesota Vikings were down 24-23 at their own 39 yard line. Case Keenum hits Stefon Diggs down the right sideline for a 61 yard miracle touchdown on a 3rd and 10. Final score 29-24 Minnesota. In honor of this improbable miracle, this week’s Blitzed Barkeep Game of the Week is Sunday Night’s New Orleans Saints (5-1) vs the Minnesota Vikings (4-2-1) rematch. What better way to relive this epic finish that to indulge a few.
The Purple Viking
1 oz Southern Comfort
1 oz blue curacao liqueur
1 oz blueberry liqueur
1 oz sloe gin
Splash: lime juice
Splash: sour mix
Blitzed Build: Combine ingredients EXCEPT soda in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously. Strain into a high ball glass (or a rocks glass) over rocks, garnish with a lemon. Top with club soda and serve.
The next Blitzed Barkeep recommendation comes from land of the Purple People Eaters. Unlike last week, where I recommended the Bengals - Chiefs game, I think this could be one of the games of the year.
However, let's partake in the deliciousness of the Purple Viking and simulate the game. Gone from last year’s Miracle in Minnesota is Case Keenum. Clearly, if they still had him in Week 3, they wouldn’t have been throttled by the my offensively intimidating Buffalo Bills 27-6. So, the fact that the Vikings made the mistake of letting Keenum go to Denver and instead opted to sign the less talented, more expensive Kirk Cousins, the New Orleans Saints come marching into town, exact their revenge from last year and run up the score 45-3. Minnesotans run into the street after the game, drunk off the many Purple Vikings they’ve now consumed and begin to channel their inner ancestors of Erik the Red and Leif Eriksson. Minneapolis is in shambles, Viking Horn Helmets and togas are strewn everywhere and semi-naked fans are passed out in disappointment while the city burns behind them.
The real story here is that Minnesota signed the coveted free agent that everyone wanted and he’s performed admirably. Case Keenum is struggling to replicate the success he had in Minnesota. This is a primetime game in Minnesota where the fans will be Skol-chanting as loud as ever before. I do not think they will need a Minnesota miracle, nor do I think it will come down to a fluke missed tackle by New Orleans. Drew Brees and company, I love you but I think your winning streak ends here. This Blitzed Barkeep thinks that Minnesota will be victorious 31-27 in a very entertaining game. Purple Vikings for everyone!
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Remember to tune in the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 8.
The Blitzed Barkeep is a #TeamBlitzed All Pro from Bills Mafia. You can follow Blitzed Barkeep on Twitter here.