Well Blitzers, I for one am very happy that we have football back. Sunday was once again spent creating my ass groove on the couch, eating wings, drinking booze and thinking about all the ways that my beloved Buffalo Bills were screwing up their game, only to pull it out in the end. Funny it was eerily similar to the Blitzed Guy’s show this week produced by Stats while Clippy was out. It was a rough go only to come out with the W in the end. In the guy’s case, the W is that the show was produced and made it to air. Clippy, I miss you. Come back. In all seriousness, if you missed their “show” you can catch it here:
The guys got one thing right- it is Over-Reaction Monday. Browns and Bears fans- relax. Rookies and marginal players who blew up in Week 1 may not produce again all year and superstars that were held in check will figure it out. It’s a long season. Let’s get into Your Barkeep's Week in Review:
Sammy Watkins (KC)
Finally, Sammy Watkins showed why he was a first draft pick all those years ago when the Buffalo Bills traded a ransom to move up to draft him 8th overall. He’s never quite reached his potential simply because he’s never really been able to stay healthy. Watkins certainly looked healthy this past Sunday. He torched the “vaunted” Jacksonville defense to the tune of 9 catches, 198 yards and 3 TDs. More importantly, he came out unscathed and will enter week 2 as the potent Kansas City offense’s #1 wide receiver after Tyreek Hill went down with a significant injury. This Barkeep had Watkins on his Draft Kings roster but left him sitting on his bench in his Yahoo Fantasy league. How dumb.
Blitzed Stats: 9 rec, 198 yds, 3 TDs
Lamar Jackson & Hollywood Brown (BAL)
Yes, it was the Dolphins. Yes, they’re clearly “Tanking for Tua”. But holy crap did they connect on another level. Tanking or not, Jackson was critiqued as being a running back at the quarterback position and he proved his critics wrong. Jackson connected on 17 of 20 for 324 yards and 5 TDs. His QB rating was 99.4 and overall rating was 158.3. His newest toy out of the garage is Hollywood Brown who he connected with 4 times for 147 yards and 2 TDs. I was impressed with the blazing speed and Dolphins or not, those passes were pretty. Their reward for putting up 59 points in week 1? An outing at home against Arizona. I expect much of the same from Jackson and Brown.
Blitzed Stats: Jackson: 17 for 20, 324 yds, 5 TDs; Brown 4 rec, 147 yds 2 TDs
DeSean Jackson (PHI)
Welcome home DeSean Jackson. Its like you never left. Down 17-0, Carson Wentz decided to open up the offense and find his deep threat. Jackson still has the speed to get behind the defense and his Philadelphia reunion resulted in 8 catches for 154 yards and 2 very important TDs. Additionally, it opened up the offense for Philly and they scored 32 unanswered points to win the home opener against division foe Washington. That would have been a very bad loss if they didn’t figure it out. Jackson is certainly buying shots at the bar today.
Blitzed Stats: 8 rec, 154 yds 2 TDs.
Marlon Mack (IND), Austin Eckler (LAC), John Brown (BUF), Josh Jacobs (OAK), Dalvin Cook (MIN)
Baker Mayfield (CLE)
High expectations, a home game and lots of talk does not equal the play that was produced on the field. 25 for 38 for 285 yds does not scream terrible week. 1 touchdown with 3 INTs does. So does a 43-13 thrashing. Cleveland did not see that coming.
Jared Goff (LAR)
Ultimately his team won, but it wasn’t because of him. He was inconsistent with some very ugly passes to the tune of 23 for 39, 186 yds with 1 TD to go along with 1 INT. That doesn’t scream big new contract. The Rams won the game despite Goff’s performance. Does LA have buyer’s remorse after that lucrative contract?
Jameis Winston (TB)
At what point does Tampa move on from Winston? You get a home game against a west coast team traveling 3,000 plus miles on Week 1 and turn in a performance like that? 20 for 36, 194 yds with 1 TD and 3 INT doesn’t cut it for a former #1 overall pick. Personally, I’d get more satisfaction from some crab legs.
10 Things I think I think after Week One
1: The Patriots cheated again and told Antonio Brown before he was released they were signing him. Notice you haven’t heard a peep from Brown since?
2. The Bears are better than how they played Thursday night.
3. The Packers actually have a defense?? They were impressive.
4. How do the Buffalo Bills turn over the ball 4 times and still win the game? Defense. Really, really good defense.
5. The Indianapolis Colts will still be competitive without Luck. Not great, but competitive.
6. Did I mention the Patriots cheated?
7. I will literally give anything in the entire world for the Patriots to not make a 4th straight Super Bowl but after watching them Sunday night, I don’t know how that doesn’t happen.
8. Lamar Jackson is the real deal. Yes, I said it. Baltimore always known for their defense now has a scary offense.
9. I’m as confused as anyone by the Browns, but I think they’ll be alright. But they never should have gotten rid of Gregg Williams.
10. Oakland played lights out. Releasing Antonio Brown gave them a big sigh of relief and they played their game. They’re young, talented and hungry.
My Drink of the Week
It would be too easy to pick the Dolphins as my team and fan base that needed a drink of the week. I feel sorry for their fan base to have to go through what their organization is putting them through. That being said, there was no team this week that came into the season with higher hopes than the one who laid the biggest egg- the Cleveland Browns. I myself picked them as my AFC North division winners this year and well, they just did not look good. Therefore, the guys this week are going to be drinking to all our Browns Blitzed fans because hell. You need it. I give you, the Cleveland Browns Burnt Orange Old Fashioned. *Pay attention to the preparation* I’m talking to you Coach and Stats.
2 oz of a Bulleit Bourbon
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
3 teaspoons sugar
1/2 cup fresh-squeezed orange juice
Blitzed Build: In a small sauce pan, brown the sugar and orange juice. Don’t cook it too long or it will become very thick. Rub an orange peel around the edge of the glass you’ll be serving the drink it, so it gives it an orange flavor. In a shaker, add one slice orange rind, and 1 teaspoon burnt orange sugar. Muddle the orange rind and sugar together. Add 2 dashes bitters and stir, then add in 2 ounces bourbon whiskey, stir again. Pour over ice in a rocks glass.
This is a little more involved and I’ve given the guys a week to prepare and practice how to make it. I’m sure they will try on Monday night for the first time and completely screw it up. If made correctly, this is an absolutely delicious twist on an original drink. Either way, Browns fans, I feel for you this week. You had high hopes and by the looks of your stadium mid-way through the 4th quarter, the majority of the dog pound was not pleased with the product that was put on the field to begin the 2019-2020 season. But as I said above, it’s a long season so relax. It will get better and I have faith in you.
That’s all for now Blitzers. I’ll be back again next week with my Week 2 review of the guy’s show and what they’ll be drinking next. As always, remember to always take Brady’s name in vein, tip your bartenders on the way out and if you’ve had too much to drink, give your keys to a friend.
The Blitzed Barkeep is a huge Buffalo Bills fan and Blitzed Football's official bartender. You can follow him on Twitter here or come back every week for his tasty articles.