Well Blitzers, that was quite a show, don’t you think? I don’t think words can describe what I just heard. In this bartender’s opinion, it was the guys' best show of the year. Stats Guy went OFF, Rookie had an epic monologue and well, you can hear it all here:

I’m saving my Super Bowl preview and prediction for next week’s column, as well as my drink of the week for then because THIS week is Blitzed NFL’s 50th Episode! Congrats guys on all the hard work, booze and procrastinating. Your livers thank you, and by that, I mean they really, really hate you. Coach still doesn’t know the name of my blog (it's called Behind the Sticks damn it… have you even read one thing I’ve written?) and I continue to be blamed for everything. Ah, I can feel the love. In honor of your 50th episode, I have decided to write the NFL a letter. Enjoy.

Dearest NFL and Commissioner Goodell,

It's me, the Blitzed Barkeep! I’d like to start off by saying this NFL season went by very fast. As you most likely know, we here at Blitzed like to drink and talk football. I’d like to air some thanks and some complaints out here about how this season went.

Here goes:

Thank you for giving us Andrew Luck back. Without him, there would be no Captain Andrew Luck twitter account, one of the funniest accounts on twitter. Simple yet hilarious.

Take back your referees and give us new ones. From start to finish they were awful yet again, culminating with that missed pass interference call in New Orleans as well the ever-phantom roughing the passer calls on Tom Brady. Did it hurt Tom?

Thank you for rookies such as Saquon Barkley, Darius Leonard, Derwin James, Josh Allen, Baker Mayfield and Phillip Lindsay. They continue to raise the bar and expectations for players coming into the league and were fun to watch.

Get rid of Thursday games. All it seems to do it cause a major injury to a star player (Richard Sherman, Doug Baldwin) as players don’t have enough recovery time after a Sunday game. Yeah it's nice for us to have games to watch during the week but they aren't usually competitive games and the players hate them. Plus if it's our team that's playing, it makes our Sundays boring and that much longer of a wait 'til the next Sunday.

Thank you for Patrick Mahomes. He burst onto the scene this year with Mahomes Magic and took the game to another level. He was a pleasure to watch and even more exciting to see take over the top spot in the AFC from the Patriots (baby steps people, baby steps). He’s going to be really good for a really long time.

For Pete's sake figure out what your penalties are! Are we calling a lowering the helmet call? Are we calling targeting? What the hell is a catch? And for god’s sake, what the hell is roughing the passer? Is it the same criteria for Tom Brady as it is for Cam Newton?

Thank you to the Kansas Chiefs for letting Kareem Hunt go after he was not honest and upfront about his situation regarding a woman in February. While I wish the statement released had said that they released him for simply attacking a woman and they will not stand for that, I applaud them for standing up for what’s right, valuing morals over talent. He will get a second chance somewhere next year after accepting his penalty but the message was delivered by Kansas City.

Similarly, NFL you need to be a bit more firm in your values and morals and not allow offenders to get third and fourth chances in your league. I may ruffle a few feathers here but people such as Josh Gordon getting so many chances frustrates me. There needs to be a better system in place regarding offenders getting the privilege to earn millions of dollars to play a game and be a role model to young people across the world.

Thank you for rivalries. They make the games better. They’re more competitive. The fans get into it and hate each other. The teams hate each other. More importantly, everyone circles those dates on their calendars and look forward to it every, single year. Seahawks - Niners; Broncos - Chiefs; Chiefs - Raiders; Ravens- Steelers; Bears- Packers; Cowboys- Insert NFC East Team Here; and lastly, Patriots vs Anyone. I mean look at those match ups! They hate each other and we dig it.

Get rid of London and Mexico City games. London games start at 9:30ET and 6:30PT and teams give up one of their home games for it. The stadium conditions are awful and fans there are not true home fans. Not to mention that teams such as the Chargers flew 6,000 miles for one of their ‘home’ games. I can’t honestly believe that the idea for a Super Bowl, an American HOLIDAY was actually floated to be played across the pond. Most people don’t even like the idea of the regular season being played there.

Thank you for the friendships, family gatherings and bonds that have brought people together for years because of their teams. Relationships have been built (and let’s face it, broken apart) because of the team loyalties that have gotten people through hard times as well as happy times together. Without the NFL, we wouldn’t have these relationships. For that, we do thank you. For most of us, we can’t wait until next year.

Lastly, stop letting the Patriots and especially Tom Brady get to the Super Bowl. We don’t like him. We don’t like them. Look at the declining price of secondary market Super Bowl tickets since the Pats got in. We're tired of seeing them in the Super Bowl. We’re tired of Julian Edelman. We’re tired of Gronk. We’re tired of Belichick. We’re tired of Kraft and his stupid white collars. Most of all, we’re tired of the Patriot fans walking around like they’re high and mighty because they've only known a Patriots team that's exceptional. Enough already. When you put an end to that, the rest of the NFL will start to love you a little more again. K? Go Rams.
​
Love,
The Blitzed Barkeep

Ok… on to the important stuff. Gentlemen (and I use that term loosely) this week I have prepared for your 50th episode a take on the classic Manhattan called the Mile-High Manhattan. I wanted you to have something you would enjoy on the this show and hopefully this would be it! If you don’t like it - oh well. I’m sure you’ll just hit some straight shots of Maker's Mark anyway.

MILE HIGH MANHATTAN

​2 oz Maker’s Mark Bourbon
½ oz Vanilla Liqueur
½ oz Grand Marnier Liqueur
1 dash Chocolate Bitters
1 dash Orange Bitters
​
Blitzed Build: Combine ingredients into a shaker with ice. Stir gently and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with cherry or orange rind.

Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast next Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week as well as preview and give their prediction for the Super Bowl. I’m guessing it will not end pleasantly for the Patriots.

​Welcome to Championship Weekend Blitzers! This week’s show didn’t disappoint! Stats Guy had an epic rant and went off on the Chargers golden opportunity all while the guys did their regular amazing job on yet another fantastic podcast. They loved the Philly Special Cocktail, and knowing the guys taste for whiskey, as well as their disdain for the Patriots, I hope they like what I’ve served up for them below. If you missed what happened on this week’s show, you can catch the podcast here:

This past week actually delivered some pretty disappointing games in terms of excitement. Your Barkeep went 2-2, missing on the Chargers (see Stats guy’s epic rant above) as well the Colts. Both were pretty poor showings by the visiting teams with regards to offensive performances but not shocking with how the games results turned out. I was hoping for a Chargers Colts AFC Championship game but hey, I have zero control over that. Either way, off to Championship weekend we go! ​

AFC Championship Preview

WHY NEW ENGLAND WILL WIN:
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**Editor Apology: Unfortunately, this is the only photo of Tom Brady we have on file.

Okay, seriously though, it’s the playoffs, its New England, they have Tom Brady and they always find a way to win. New England has made 8 straight AFC Championship games and basically is made for January football. Their offense is not nearly as explosive or as potent as Kansas City’s but their defense is better. They can, however, methodically and surgically move down the field and keep Kansas City off the field so they can’t put points on the board. I expect New England to do this, and do this well. They also have an excellent running game with Michel, Burkhead and James White, who doubles as a wide receiver. Expect New England to play a ball control game, Brady to do his typical 5-yard dink and dunk down the field and New England to be efficient all while waiting to throw those daggers. Don’t expect the weather to phase the Evil Empire but do expect Tom Brady to come out gunning for a 9th Super Bowl.

WHY KANSAS CITY WILL WIN:

They have the better offense, and they’re playing at home. The offense in KC this year has truly been impressive. Patrick Mahomes is most likely going to win the MVP and they really haven’t skipped a beat with the dismissal of Kareem Hunt. Last week, their defense played a vital role in shutting down a red-hot Indianapolis offense They’ll need that defense again this week to keep New England from engineering those patented 9-minute drives so their offense can put points on the board. If Kansas City can control the game and play it at their speed, they will come out victorious and head to their first Super Bowl since 1970. The problem is, they may play too fast for their own good which New England will exploit by making key defensive stops. As I said above, Kansas City really needs their defense to step up this week as I think their offense will be just fine at home. If that happens, I think Kansas City has too much firepower for New England to keep up with this year and is able to come away in this one.

Blitzed Prediction: Chiefs 38 Patriots 37
​

NFC Championship Preview

WHY LOS ANGELES WILL WIN:
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They have weapons on both sides of the ball, they have Sean McVay and they have Todd Gurley. At the start of this season, there were people who thought this team was so talented, they could actually go undefeated and that the Super Bowl Championship was all but theirs. They spent money on free agent after free agent, Jared Goff improved by leaps and bounds thanks to the offensive ingenuity of Sean McVay and they had all-world running back Todd Gurley. Yet here they are, IN New Orleans and not Los Angeles as the second seed as an underdog. Not quite a jaw dropper, but not quite the season one expected out of LA. Lops Angeles will win this game if they do three things- keep New Orleans off the field by running ball like they did last week, locking down Michael Thomas and not allowing New Orleans to control the game with Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram. Los Angeles’ weakness is their run defense and New Orleans will look to exploit that. By taking away the play action with Michael Thomas and focusing on stopping the run, Los Angeles will come out on top in this one.

WHY NEW ORLEANS WILL WIN:

They’re at home, the crowd will be insanely loud, they have Drew Brees, and their backfield duo of Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram are dynamic. First, don’t downplay the environment that Los Angeles is going into. The crowd will cause 3 or 4 penalties alone on offense as well as not allow that Ram offensive line to get the normal burst off the line due to the fact that they will be using silent counts. Second, Drew Brees always plays well at home. He, like Patrick Mahomes, is an MVP candidate who had one of his best seasons of his career and is looking to cap it with a trip to the Super Bowl. He’s hungry and was not happy with how it ended in Minnesota last year. Finally, the Rams weakest point in their defense is the run game and New Orleans has two very good running backs. They can run it as well as catch it effectively and New Orleans will utilize their ground game quite a bit in this game to control the clock. If New Orleans is able to do all of the above, they will win this game.

​Blitzed Prediction: Rams 35 Saints 23

And now for your Championship Drink of the Week. This week, the guys are drinking the Mahomes Magic Old Fashioned. This is my good luck charm (hopefully) since I’ll be rooting for Kansas City to knock off the defending AFC Champions. After all, I’m a Bills Fan and this is Blitzed NFL. It’s the only way to go. Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, your cocktail:

Mahomes Magic Old Fashioned

1.0 oz. whiskey
1 oz. tart cherry juice
0.5 oz. amaretto
0.5 oz. ginger brandy
2.0 oz. cola
5 maraschino cherries
​
Blitzed Barkeep Build: Add maraschino cherries to the bottom of the glass and muddle until smashed. Add ice. In a cocktail shaker, add the whiskey, tart cherry juice, amaretto, and brandy, shaking for 15 seconds to combine. Strain into rocks glass over ice, top off with cola.

New England and Tom Brady in particular, has had their time to shine. I’m ready for another team to move into the spotlight in the AFC and this drink is my gift to the guys for this week. Let’s hope that next Tuesday, there are no tears in this Old Fashioned. I can only imagine what Stats Guy will do if Kansas City loses this week…
​
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast next Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Championship Weekend.

The Blitzed Barkeep is a #TeamBlitzed All Pro from Bills Mafia. Check out his brand new podcast: 716 Mafia Unplugged or you can follow him on Twitter. 

Welcome to Divisional Weekend Blitzers! I’d also love to welcome back Rookie to the podcast! Clipboard Guy did an OK job filling in for you last week and it appears, according to the guys that you are expendable. Don’t tell them I told you that! I personally missed you and was glad to hear you were back. The drinks of choice this week left me a bit perplexed until I heard the reasoning for it. If you missed what the guys were drinking or why they were drinking it, you can catch the podcast here.

For all our Bear Down fans from #TeamBlitzed out there, to watch that ball go seemingly in slow motion to the left was agonizing. I’m a Bills fan. I know what it feels like but to the other side of the post (wide right anyone?). I promise it does get better and you have a bright future ahead of you. For all the other average NFL fans, Wild Card weekend was fun to watch. Your Barkeep was nearly perfect in his predictions until Nick Foles (yes that Nick Foles yet again) spoiled my fun. I’ll take 3 out of 4 and move on to the Divisional Round. I must say I’m pretty excited for these ‘Games of the Week’. Lets take a look at what we are in store for…

WILD CARD WEEKEND PREVIEW

Indianapolis Colts (10-6) @ Kansas City Chiefs (11-5)
​
Oh boy, Oh boy, oh boy. Who is not excited about this match up? Patrick Mahomes vs Andrew Luck? I don’t see anyway how this game will disappoint us in excitement. Kansas City comes into the playoffs as the #1 seed in the AFC, with home field advantage after accumulating a 12-4 record (7-1 at home). They come in as the #1 ranked offense in the NFL in numerous categories including scoring, yards, TDs, scoring %, average yards per drive and average points per drive. Patrick Mahomes has been lights out throwing for 5,097 yards, 50 TDs and only 12 INTs. After Kareem Hunt’s release, he is also the team’s leading rusher at 272 yards with 2 more TDs. Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce form a dynamic receiving combo (combined over 2,700 yards and 22 TDs) that can score from anywhere in the field. However, where they are so dynamic on offense, they are lacking in defense- they rank 31st in total defense and 24th in scoring defense. They also rank 31st in pass defense which does not bode well against Andrew Luck.

Luck was second only to Mahomes in the AFC this year with 4,593 yards and 39 TDs. On offense, the Colts are ranked 7th in total offense while averaging 386.2 yds/gm and ranked 5th in scoring at 27.1 points per game. This difference in this game is where Indianapolis has improved over Kansas City: on defense. Indianapolis is ranked 11th giving up 339.4 yards per game and gives up 21.5 points per game. I think this combination of the potent offense (and KC’s leaky defense), as well as the fundamentally sound Indianapolis defense is what will be the difference in this game. The Colts continue to be the hottest team in the NFL and have an offensive line that just doesn’t let anyone get to their quarterback. Their defense is also continuing to play lights out and will do enough to contain Mahomes and company. I like the Colts to control the tempo of the game, sustain long drives by effectively running Mack and Luck spreading the wealth. Indianapolis moves on to the AFC championship game in a shoot-out.

Blitzed Prediction: Colts 42 Chiefs 38

Dallas Cowboys (10-6) @ Los Angeles Rams (13-3)

As I stated last week, Dallas didn’t really impress me until after the Amari Cooper trade and they seem to be a much different team at home. They have just steadily improved as the season has progressed and sure enough, they took out the Seahawks in Dallas as I predicted. The Rams are not Seattle and they not in Dallas. Dallas does bring the 7th ranked total defense, along with the 6th ranked scoring defense. They do rank 8th in TDs allowed and 5th in rushing yards allowed on the season, which is especially important considering the health of Todd Gurley is in question. But again, they’re not in Dallas anymore.

These Rams had high expectations, or shall we say Super expectations, coming into this season and they’re not about the take their foot off the pedal now. They rank 2nd in total offense, 2nd in scoring offense, 3rd in rushing, 2nd in rushing TDs, 5th in passing and seem to be able to adjust their game plan at will when a defense shuts down one aspect of their offense or another. They have playmakers at every skill position on both sides of the ball and appear ready to take the next step this year, that was so close to their reach last year. Their defense can be suspect at times but Dalla’s offense only ranks 22nd in both total offense and scoring offense. I don’t see a need to worry much here.

The health of Gurley will be an important factor when it comes down to it but I don’t think it will influence the outcome of the game. The Rams are at home, have a next man up attitude and clearly the better team on paper. They are talented at every position on the field and there is no reason to think they won’t come out victorious in this one at home. The only question is, will they show up and take the Cowboys seriously at home or will they already be looking past them towards New Orleans?

Blitzed Prediction: Rams 30 Cowboys 13

Los Angeles Chargers (12-4) @ New England Patriots (11-5)

The Chargers had their way with the Ravens for 3 and ½ quarters last Sunday before Lamar Jackson went to work. Unfortunately, it was too late and I think part of it was that the Chargers simply just took their foot off the gas and went into prevent defense (am I the only one who hates prevent defense?).

As I said last week, it can be argued that the Chargers are the most balanced team in the AFC and perhaps the NFL. They have play makers on both sides of the ball with Philip Rivers in the conversation for MVP (4,308 yds, 32 TDs and 12 INTs), three-down RB Melvin Gordon (885 yds rushing, 10 TDs; 50 rec, 490 yds, 4 TDs) and Keenan Allen (97 rec, 1,196 yds 6 TDs) on offense. On defense, they have potential defensive rookie of the year in CB Derwin James while wrecking balls Melvin Ingram and Joey Bosa cause havoc on opposing quarterbacks. When you look at their overall statistics, they are the 11th ranked team in total offense and the 9th ranked team in total defense. The pieces are there to finally knock off the Patriots. At home. In the playoffs.

Tom Brady looks mortal. In fact, he hasn’t really looked good for five or six weeks. Rob Gronkowski has been battling injuries all year and it may seem his career is coming to a close. Through it all, New England still managed to rank 5th in total offense, and 4th in scoring offense. They were surprisingly effective in the run this year ranking 5th while coming in as the 4th ranked team in rushing TDs. Their defense was the anomaly however, ranking 21st in total D but in true New England fashion only allowing 325 total points (that bend don’t break always seem to be a staple for Bill Belicheck). That was good enough to rank 7th in scoring defense. Yet, New England still has looked beatable in a lot of their games this year. Perhaps its because they have been so dominant for the past decade that New England’s mediocre is good in the rest of our eyes.

This is tough game to predict. Los Angeles is a balanced team and has been a really good team on the road this year. They’ve knocked off Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Seattle and Baltimore on the road, as well as won a game half way around the globe in London. If there is a team that can beat New England, at home, in the playoffs, I’m pushing my chips in on this Chargers team. I think they have the swagger, the talent and the coaching staff to finally break through to knock off the defending AFC champs at home in a tough, hard fought victory. I like the Chargers in the upset here, although I’m not sure how confident I am because let’s face it- its Tom Brady and it’s the playoffs.

Blitzed Prediction: Los Angeles 24 New England 23

Philadelphia Eagles (9-7) @ New Orleans Saints (13-3)

DOINK. That’s the sound Philadelphia fans are thanking right now for being in New Orleans (Sorry Chicago fans- remember it wasn’t a miss, it was a block). I’m not really sure Philadelphia continues to do it. Nick Foles seems to be a better fit in Philadelphia than Carson Wentz and I’ve begun to question when the Eagles will begin to entertain trades for him. Philadelphia is a fundamentally sound, gritty, hard-nosed team that has a will to win, starting with their quarterback. He’s 10-2 as a starter for the Eagles. He’s won a Super Bowl and a Super Bowl MVP. Career-wise he’s 19-11 (Wentz is 18-11), thrown for 52 TDs, 18 INTs (Wentz is 49 TDs and 21 TDs) and Foles actually has a higher QBR (61 to 60). That’s what Philly has going for them right now- there’s no drop off at the quarterback position. If anything, they may have upgraded.

However, they travel to New Orleans to meet the #1 seed in the NFC. At 13-3 (6-2 at home, ironically losing the first and last games of the year), the Saints are dominant on both sides of the ball. Drew Brees is the heart and soul of this team and the potential NFL MVP this year. He completed an ungodly 74.4% (NFL Record) of his passes for 3,992 yards and 32 TDs while only being intercepted 5 times. His offense was ranked 8th in total yards and 3rd in scoring offense. Michael Thomas is considered by many to be one of the best WR in the league while the RB duo of Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram deliver a lightning and thunder punch that offers zero in the terms of taking plays off. Their defense also stepped it up this year as evidenced by a respectable 14th ranking in both total yards and scoring. They are a better, more talented and I think more potent version of the Chargers.

The home field advantage, as well as the sheer talent of the Saint will be enough to end the Philly Special ride here in New Orleans. I think the Saints are just too good on both sides of the ball for the Eagles to overcome the injuries they’ve had. I look for Philadelphia to keep it close early before New Orleans pulls away late.

Blitzed Prediction: Saints 34 Philadelphia 17

And now for your Divisional Drink of the Week. This week, the guys will be drinking to honor the Eagles and how they once again willed their way not into the playoffs and somehow into the divisional round against the Saints. I’m having them drink… ​

Philly Special Cocktail

.5 oz. Captain Morgan Rum
.5 oz. Blue Curaçao
.5 oz. Malibu Coconut Rum
.5 oz. Midori Melon Liquor
Splash of Sweet and Sour mix
Top with Pineapple juice
Blitzed Barkeep Build: Mix all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain over rocks in a rocks glass (a martini glass is acceptable).
​Garnish with an orange.

This week’s drink of the week comes to you from the Philadelphia. I’m not sure how they keep doing it, but they do. As I stated above, they are a talented team but they struggled this year with injuries and playing to lofty expectations. I believe that if Nick Foles pulls off another upset over New Orleans, Philadelphia should strongly consider trading Carson Wentz for trade assets. I guarantee he would garner a 1st and a 2nd round pick (at least) in next year’s draft for a quarterback hungry team like the New York Giants or Jacksonville Jaguars. Either way, this is a tasty way to enjoy this week’s games. No matter who you’re rooting for, the playoffs are sure to give us all something to cheer for.
​
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast next Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Divisional Weekend.

And now for your Wild Card drink of the week. This week, the guys will be drinking to honor the Colts and their magic run to the playoffs after their 1-5 start. Say hello to the Colts Stampede Cocktail. ​

Welcome to Week 15 Blitzers. As always, kudos to the guys on this week’s show for another hilarious episode. I’m glad the Miami Miracle Margarita was a winning cocktail for the show (lets be real, the reason alone it was chosen made it a winner before it was even tasted) and fortunately it didn’t lead to any questionable outbursts this week. From a personal standpoint, I was relieved I wasn’t blamed for anything again… or was I? You’ll have to check it out for yourself here to find out. One way or another it’s all-star effort from our guys over at Blitzed NFL. ​

Speaking of All Stars, the Pro Bowl rosters were just released yesterday and while I personally don’t care about the game anymore, I do care about the players on my team getting recognition for their accomplishments on the field of play. The NFL really needs to figure out a way to make the game more relevant so that casual fans will want to tune in again. At the end of the long, stressful, punishing season, the players are there for the recognition and the camaraderie with fellow stars, not so much for the competition in the game itself. Even still, us fans get all bent out of shape if our favorite players get snubbed after a great year. Case in point, my Buffalo Bills were blanked on the roster even with the #2 ranked total defense in the league. So, this week I decided to give you the 2018 Barkeep’s All Snubbed Team, and the reasons why I feel they deserved their trip to Orlando this coming January.

Blitzed Barkeep's ALL SNUBBED Team

Christian McCaffrey (RB- CAR)
​Blitzed Stats: 179 att 979 yds 5.0 avg 7TDs; 94 rec 768 yds 6 TDS

​Three names: Ezekiel Elliott, Todd Gurley and Saquon Barkley. That’s why McCaffrey is not on the roster for Orlando in January. McCaffrey is the rare three-down back who makes Carolina’s offense versatile and defensive coordinator’s heads spin. The play action fake in Carolina’s offense opens up the field but very often leads right back to McCaffrey as evidenced by his 94 catches with another two games to play. While a 1,000/1,000 rushing and receiving year is probably out of the question this season, it’s not hard to fathom that he will reach that feat at one point or another in his career very soon. McCaffrey is deserving of a Pro Bowl nod this season, and he is only going to get better with time.

JuJu Smith-Schuster (WR- PIT)
Blitzed Stats: 95 rec 1,274 yds 6 TDs

​Juju has had himself one hell of a year- so much so that he has out-produced his teammate Antonio Brown. That in itself is a big deal due to the fact that Brown is very often considered as one of the best, if not THE best, wide receivers in the entire NFL. Smith-Schuster leads the Steelers in targets (more than Brown), and receiving yards (also more than Brown) while at the same time preventing opposing defenses from double teaming “the best receiver in the league”. Out of the two wideouts that have helped the Steelers to the #1 passing offense in the NFL, its is Brown, not Smith-Schuster that is heading to Orlando. Its not to say that Brown doesn’t deserve that honor. I’m saying that Juju does. At least we named a drink for him! (Check out Blitzed NFL podcast Episode 20 if you missed it)

Andrew Luck (QB- IND)
​Blitzed Stats: 375 out of 557 (67.3%) 3,951 yds, 34 TDs 13 INTs; 98.4 QBR

​He missed the entire 2017 NFL season with a shoulder injury. He thought at some point he may never play football again. He came back in 2018 and no one knew what to expect. He started off a bit rusty but then he caught fire. He had a stretch of nine straight games where he had at least 3 TD passes. He also has six 300 yard passing games including one 400 yard game and another 399 yard game- both against the 10-4, division-leading Houston Texans. His most important stat of the season? His team started 1-5 and are now back in the playoff hunt at 7-6. This snub was simply mind-boggling when you look at everything he’s overcome along with the stats he has put up. One can argue that he can’t replace Patrick Mahomes or Philip Rivers with the years they are having. He can, however, replace Tom Brady and deservedly so. Team Blitzed would gladly make that switch any day of the week.

Mike Evans (WR-TB)
Blitzed Stats: 74 rec 1,328 yds 5 TDs

He’s not flashy. You don’t hear about him mouthing off. He’s rotated between two quarterbacks multiple times this year and not due to injuries. But yet he continues to go out every week and produce. He is one of only three players in NFL history to begin their NFL careers with five straight 1,000 yard seasons (Randy Moss and AJ Green are the others) and could surpass 1,500 yards this season. He is the steady hand in Tampa Bay when other, important positions are not so steady. Considering what he has had to transition through this year behind center, this snub is not to be overlooked. He more than deserves to be in Orlando with his peers as the one of the best wide receivers in the NFL.

​Blitzed Honorable Mentions:
​Alvin Kamara (NO), Darius Leonard (IND), Robert Woods (LAR), Chris Jones (KC), Tre White (BUF), Leighton Vander Esch (DAL)

In a year full of players excelling and not being recognized for their accomplishments, we are steadily rolling towards the playoffs with teams full of players that were recognized and headed to Orlando. In fact, my game of the week this week has a combined eight (8) pro bowlers that were selected yesterday including five first timers. This week’s game of the week should be a good one and features the Kansas Chiefs (11-3) heading to CenturyLink Field to take on the Seattle Seahawks (8-6). Seattle plays tough at home with that 12th man advantage so what better than to partake in some 12th Man Cocktails?

12th Man Cocktail
1.5oz Citrus Vodka
1.5oz Midori
½ oz Fresh Squeezed Lime Juice
Float Blue Curacao
Blitzed Barkeep Build: Add ingredients except Curacao to a shaker with ice, shake vigorously and strain into a rocks glass over rocks. Flip a bar spoon over and place at the top of the pour in the glass. Slowly pour the Blue Curacao to float on top of the cocktail to separate the two colors. Garnish with aa lime wedge or wheel.

Seattle has always been a tough place to play. The mystique of the 12th man advantage seems to give the Seahawks a little more edge when they’re at home. This year they’re a respectable 4-2 in Seattle with their two losses coming only to the two teams based out of Los Angeles- the Rams and Chargers. They have been hot of late, winning 4 out of their last 5 before losing a head scratcher to San Francisco in overtime. The Chiefs, on the other hand have three losses all year by a combined 7 points. Two of those losses (New England and also the Los Angeles Rams) were on the road. Like Seattle, they are coming off a very tough loss to the Chargers who went for the win with a gutsy two-point conversion last Thursday night.

​So, as always let’s play out the game Barkeep style. The game gets underway with two teams known for the exact opposite things- offense and defense. Seattle gets first crack and immediately runs down the field for a touchdown. Forgetting that its 2018, the fans begin to throw packets of skittles on the field thinking Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch was back in town. Arguments begin to fly about who the running back was this year as some weren’t sure which of the five being used actually scored that last touchdown. (Kansas City scores on a 40 yard touchdown to Tyreek Hill) Microsoft Surface Pros are pulled out to Google their answer. Or Bing it. Another fight breaks out as to which search engine is better. (Kansas City Scores again on a 50 yard pass to Travis Kelce) Someone in the stands had the audacity to open Internet Explorer. (Touchdown KC to Chris Conley) Silence falls over the crowd as that fan is quickly escorted out of the stadium and banned for life (Kansas City scores another touchdown on a no look pass to Damien Williams). Seattle fans have no idea that through all of this the score quickly jumped to 28-7 in the blink of an eye. Somewhere off in the corner, a shadowy, dreadlocked character in a black trench-coat happily opens a bag a skittles and walks away down the tunnel. In the end, Seattle gave it their all gets shellacked 63-7. To console everyone, free Starbucks are handed out as fans leave the stadium. Of course, no one’s name is spelled correctly on the side of the cup this time either.

 Ah, to have some fun with these games. In reality, I do think this will be a high scoring affair once again involving the Chiefs but I don’t think it will be a blow out. Seattle’s Legion of Boom is not as terrifying as it once was, but their defense will keep them in this game. I simply do not think Seattle stacks up with the offensive power that Kansas City has. Eventually, Kansas City will put Seattle away, keeping the top seed in the AFC for another week.

​FINAL SCORE: Kansas City 42 Seattle 36

​Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 16.

Welcome to Week 14 Blitzers. This week’s podcast was highly entertaining as it usually is. I don’t know if the bye week from the podcast gave them extra energy or what, but I was happy to hear how much the guys liked the Bootleg Black and Gold Whiskey Cocktail, or the “JuJu” Cocktail as the guys renamed it. Honestly, there was way too much to even put into words here from Simple Jack, Tropic Thunder, the AFC East Conspiracy Theory & Tanking for Tom as well as Michael Bolton… to even review. You will just have to listen yourself here as I felt it was one of the best shows of the year thus far. ​

As we come up on the end of the season and the playoff picture was beginning to sort itself out, I got to thinking about how some of the trade deadline deals were working out for the teams that were involved. As I looked further into the trades I asked myself if there were there clear winners? If so, who were they? This week I take a look at four of the biggest names that were moved and how they’ve done so far in their new homes.

​NEW ACQUISITIONS: WHO WON?

Golden Tate
​(DET to PHI for a 3rd RD pick)
Stats Before the Trade: 44 rec, 517 yds, 3 TDs (8 games)
Stats Since the Trade: 19 rec, 189 yds, 1 TD (5 games)
Blitzed Decision: Detroit.
They’re that hot girl at the bar who convinces the gullible guy to pay for her drinks all night by flashing him a pretty smile and making him think he has a chance. Then at last call, she dials an Uber and goes home to her boyfriend without having to spending a dime the whole night. Tate is an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season. Detroit acquired a 3rd round pick for a player they knew was going to skip town anyways. Problem is, he hasn’t exactly worked out for Philadelphia either. This past Sunday, he got on the field for 38% of the offensive snaps and totaled just one catch for 8 yards. I caught more grapes that fell off the shelf at the grocery store without looking than Tate has over the past two weeks. The difference is that I’m not being paid $6.2 million dollars to do so.

Amari Cooper
(OAK to DAL for a 1st RD pick)
Stats Before the Trade: 22 rec, 280 yds, 1 TD
Stats Since the Trade: 40 rec, 642 yds, 6 TDs
Blitzed Decision: Dallas.
​The 27 year old Cooper has been quite the opposite for Dallas. This past week, he played 90 snaps and had 10 catches for 217 yards with three touchdowns. All of those stats were more in one game than Tate has combined in 5 games since joining the Eagles. Not only has Cooper returned to form as a bona fide #1 wide receiver for the Cowboys, he’s opened up the offense for Ezekiel Elliot, created space for Dak Prescott and kept the opposing defenses honest at the line of scrimmage. Additionally, extending the offense’s time on the field has helped their defense’s efficiency as well. The Cowboys are 5-1 since Cooper has joined Dallas with the lone loss coming in his first game to the Tennessee Titans, 28-14. They have since ripped off five straight wins and sit atop the NFC East with a record of 8-5. They certainly look primed to return to the playoffs for the first time since 2015 and for only the second time since 2010.

Demaryius Thomas
(DEN to HOU for a 4th RD pick and swap of 7th RD picks
Stats Before the Trade: 36 rec, 402 yds, 3 TDs (8 games
Stats Since the Trade: 14 rec, 179 yds, 2 TDs (5 games)
​Blitzed Decision: Texans.
This is probably the least flashy of the trades but possibly one of the most underrated. Back in October, the Texans had just lost Will Fuller to a torn ACL while they were just beginning their improbable nine game win streak (that just ended this past week to the also-streaking Indianapolis Colts). In comes Thomas from Denver to replace Fuller and he has quietly been effective. Not so much on the stat sheet, but on keeping the defenses occupied from double teaming that other guy opposite him- DeAndre Hopkins. Thomas’ addition alone keeps defenses honest and has allowed the Texans to continue to be effective to the tune of nine straight wins. The scariest part of all of this? Think of the receiving trio they will have when Fuller comes back healthy in ’19. I’m thinking scary good.

Khalil Mack
(OAK to CHI for ’19 and ’20 1st RD, ’20 3rd and ’19 6th RD)
Stats Before the Trade: n/a
Stats Since the Trade: 36 TCK, 10 sacks, 4 Pass Def, 6 FrcFum, 1 INT, 1 TD
​Blitzed Decision: Chicago.
The Bears paid a king’s ransom for this man. But damn it, he was worth. He instantly made their defense better and will continue to do so for the next five years plus. This season I have seen Mack finesse, power and stroll his way through offensive linemen. I have seen him take one arm and throw them away like a sack of potatoes. I’ve seen him (or rather not seen him in this case) come from what seemingly is thin air in the blink of an eye to take down the quarterback. I am old enough to remember Reggie White and Bruce Smith play football. I was not however, old enough to appreciate the greatness they possessed on the football field. We are fortunate that we get to watch Mack play. How Oakland ever traded him is beyond me. There is not another defensive player coming out in the draft this year or next that will match the talent that Mack possesses.

Awkward Transition Alert

There is no easy way to transition into my game of the week from talking about how the traded players are doing in their new digs. So, I’m just going to dive right in. Based on all the history and the fact that once again this has playoff seeding implications, the game of the week this week of course has to be the New England Patriots (9-4) going into Heinz Field to take on the reeling 7-5-1 Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh is coming off an embarrassing (there’s no other word to describe it is there Steelers fans?) and crushing defeat at the hands of the Raiders while the Patriots, well… they’re drinking a lot of this week’s Drink of the Week. I present to you, the Miami Miracle Margarita. ​

Miami Miracle Margarita
1.5oz Espolon Reposado Tequila
½ oz Blue Curacao
½ oz Florida Orange Juice
½ oz Pineapple Juice
½ oz Fresh Squeezed Lime Juice
½ oz Jalapeño Agave syrup*
Blitzed Barkeep Build: All all ingredients to a shaker with ice, shake vigorously and strain into a rocks glass over rocks. Garnish with an orange peel cut into the shape of a dolphin.
*Jalapeño Agave Syrup Build: combine 12 oz. agave, 12 oz. water and 2 to 3 sliced jalapeños in a saucepot. Bring to a boil over medium/high heat, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and skim/discard jalapeños slices.
​Cool to room temperature or chill before using.

Now its no secret to Blitzed Nation that I am not a fan of the New England Cheatriots. This drink is the perfect drink for this week because the Jalapeño Agave gives the drink a kick at the finish that sneaks up on you, very similar to the way the Patriots lost last Sunday. The only real problem I have with that loss, is the trend with the Patriots losing that way is it gives them fire for the following week. This is already a big enough game with playoff implications and we don’t need to give Tom Brady any more motivation to play harder for the rest of the year. Statistically speaking, these are two rather evenly matched teams. Both teams score 28 points per game while giving up 22.5 (NE) and 23.5 (PIT) points per game. Shockingly, Pittsburgh has more passing yards per game (328.6 to 288.5) while New England has more rushing yards per game (118.2 to 89).

​So, let’s play out the game Barkeep style. After officials usher out the black trench coat wearing camera men with NFL taped over the Patriots logos, the game begins with several questionable calls going against Pittsburgh. Multiple times the officials can be seen going to the review booth and returning to the field with rather large bulges in their pockets, followed out by Patriots officials. Undoubtedly, the next flag goes the Patriot’s way. Its no doubt that the Steelers easily take a large deficit at the half, 35-0. The start of the second half begins with a new QB under center- Patriot killer Eli Manning. He also brought along David ‘Pine Tar’ Tyree for good luck. The Steelers thought about consulting Kyle Shanahan for advice but decided that since they were attempting to comeback instead of blow a lead, he wouldn’t know how to help them. A solid running game (take note Russell Wilson) and multiple touchdown passes to Jesse James actually DO stand as he maintains control (as he did last year as well) to bring the Steelers close. 

The Steelers sack Brady and instead of implementing the tuck rule, the ball was deemed to have been out of his hand and fumbled giving the Steelers a last second chance. A surprise guest appearance by Adam Vinatieri on a one-day trade to the Steelers is all they need to seal the deal on a walk off field goal. Pittsburgh wins on a wild 38-35 victory sending Pittsburgh into a frenzy. Somewhere a shattered phone rings with Gisele’s face as the background and deflated balls come to a rolling stop due to a low PSI.

If only it were that easy. This game is too hard to predict. Pittsburgh is banged up and New England is coming off that devastating loss. I can go with my head or my heart here. My head says New England will bounce back and continue to do what they always do- win and piss everyone off by getting a bye in the playoffs like they’ve done for what seems like the last 50 years. My heart is rooting so hard for Steeler Nation this week so I‘m going to go that way with my prediction.

FINAL SCORE: Pittsburgh 30 New England 28

​Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 15.

Welcome to Week 12 Blitzers. Talk about two different games of the week from your Barkeep. Definitely two different reasons to drink; however, your barkeep got himself back on the winning track by picking the Bucs to come out victorious. No there were no cab rides or crab legs. Nor were there any Fitztragic sightings. But there were plenty of Blackbeard Cocktails on this week’s podcast. While it wasn’t an overall favorite from all of the guys (you can’t win over the crowd every single time), it did its job and delivered the desired effect. Gentlemen, your “Camille Mack” custom jerseys are en route as we speak, courtesy of the Blitzed Barkeep. It’s the least I can do for keeping me entertained each week. For the rest of you, if you’re wondering who Camille Mack is and how the guys got that drunk, you can catch it here:

This week’s podcast was highly entertaining and outlined three teams that are on the outside looking into the playoff picture. Stats Guy gave us an interesting statistic that as of Week 12 in the NFL, NO team is technically eliminated from playoff contention. Being Week 13, lets take a look at three teams that were supposed to be in the playoff picture, apparently went to happy hour a little too early, but are on the outside looking in and one that has surprisingly positioned itself rather nicely to make a playoff push down the stretch.

2018 Disappointments

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-8)
Where do you possibly begin with this team? For starters, take a look at their 2017 defensive stats: 268 total pts (2nd), 286.1 yds/game (2nd), 55 sacks (2nd) 21 INTs (2nd), 17 fumble recoveries (tied 3rd), 2 TDS. To sum it up, they were dominant. In 2018, they are far from it. They are giving up 320 yds/game. Through 11 games, they’ve already given up 243 points, only have 22 sacks, 8 INTS and have only recovered 3 fumbles. The story this season is that the defense is not generating offensive opportunities for a shorter field, which is important for a team that does not field what we’ll call an efficient offense. That’s the difference between 2017 and 2018 Jacksonville. The Jaguars are the cocky drunk asshole at the bar that doesn’t know when to shut up. Eventually they get their teeth knocked in by someone who has no business being in the same fight with them. Jacksonville is losing to teams they shouldn’t be losing to. They need to do less talking off the field and more playing on it.
Blitzed Final Stretch: IND, @Ten, WASH, @Mia, @Hou
Final Record Prediction: 5-11 (miss the playoffs)

Philadelphia Eagles (5-6)
What’s wrong with the defending Super Bowl champs? Overall, their offense is not performing as efficiently as last year. Their passing is actually up statistically this year (2017: 233 yds/gm 2018: 253.6 yds/gm) but that’s not always a good thing. It usually means they are playing from behind more than they should be. The fact that their rushing (’17: 132.2 yds/gm; ’18: 100.8 yds/gm) and scoring (’17: 28.6 pts/gm; ’18 20.9 pts/gm) are way down while they are giving up more points per game (18.4 pts/gm last year compared to 23 pts/gm this year) back that statistic up. Teams are punching Philadelphia in the gut right away this year causing them to go away from their game plans that worked so well last year. Less offensive balance coupled with worse defensive efficiency usually leads to one heck of a super bowl hangover. If the Eagles don’t want to become the 14th team all-time to win the Super Bowl then miss the playoffs the following season, they need to drink some water, cure that hangover and get back to their winning recipe from 2017.
Blitzed Final Stretch: WASH, @Dal, @LAR, HOU, @Wash
Final Record Prediction: 8-8 (miss the playoffs)

Atlanta Falcons (4-7)
The Falcons have struggled to replace the offense that Kyle Shanahan had in place during their Super Bowl appearance two years ago when he left for San Francisco. Either that or that come-from-behind loss permanently damaged the likes of Matty Ice and company so much that they’ll never be the same. What other excuse do you have for not giving Julio Jones (yes THAT Julio Jones who is 6’3”, 220lbs with a 38.5” vertical jump and a 4.39 40 yard dash) any red zone looks or touchdowns through the first 8 games of the NFL season? Clearly the offensive play-calling has left a lot to be desired in the ATL over the last two years and needs to be improved if the Falcons are to make the most of the Ryan/ Freeman/ Jones/ Ridley combination before its too late. There is entirely too much talent on this team to be 4-7 and only two years removed from a Super Bowl appearance. Playing Drew Brees and the Saints twice a year lately hasn’t helped either… just saying.
Blitzed Final Stretch: BAL, @GB, AZ, @CAR, @TB
Final Record Prediction: 6-10 (miss the playoffs)

2018 Surprise Team

Chicago Bears (8-3)
Raise your hand, all you Blitzers outside of Chi-town, if you saw this coming this year. The two of you that raised your hand, you are cut off. Most NFL analysts, fans and experts had the Bears pegged for 2019 or 2020 as the year they blossom. But Trubisky has that offense dancing on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the talent that was added this offseason. Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen form a deadly lightning and thunder combination and the wideouts are athletic, quick and most importantly catch everything thrown their way. On the other side of the ball, there’s that guy named Mack. He’s not a big deal or good or anything. He only forces a fumble and gets like 5 sacks a game. He single-handedly wrecks the opponent’s offensive line with a menacing glare. I don’t know about you, but I sure wish my team gave up those 1st round picks for him. Unless you’re from Green Bay, Minnesota or Detroit, these Bears are young, fun to watch and are going to be good for a while. I don’t plan on kicking them out of my bar any time soon.
Blitzed Final Stretch: @NYG, LAR, GB, @SF, @MINN
Final Record Prediction: 12-4, NFC North Champs, 3rd Seed Playoffs

This week’s Game of the Week has that playoff feel again after I punished you all with a boozy matchup last week. For that I apologize. Like a good game of beer pong or flip cup, sometimes its more fun to drink than it is to watch the game. I don’t think that will be the case this week. I present to you the San Diego Chargers (8-3) vs the Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3-1). I’ve given up on calling them the Los Angeles Chargers because its just weird and I don’t want to do it anymore. They belong in San Diego. This game however is in Pittsburgh, so our drink of the week is the Bootleg Black and Gold Whiskey Cocktail.

Bootleg Black and Gold Whiskey Cocktail:
2 oz. Whiskey
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz Grand Marnier
Dash Orange Bitters
Blitzed Build: In a shaker, combine Whiskey, Kahlua and Grand Marnier together with ice. Shake thoroughly.
Glaze the rim of a rocks glass with an orange rind. Strain the cocktail over rocks and pour a dash or two of orange bitters in. Garnish with an orange rind twist.

This is an important AFC battle between 8-3 and 7-3-1 teams. The Chargers are looking up at the Chiefs while the Steelers are on top of the AFC North yet again. Most importantly through all of this, both are trying to keep pace with the hated New England Patriots (also 8-3) and trying desperately to prevent them from gaining a bye or home field advantage in the playoffs. In this particular game, us Blitzers should be rooting for the division leader Steelers. The reason? New England visits the Steelers in Week 15 so keeping pace as the division leader is most important at this point.

So lets play this game out the Barkeep’s way after a few Black and Gold Whiskeys. Pittsburgh surprises its fans by having a Le’Veon Disappreciation Day for the first 5 fans that come through the stadium door. They each got one day contracts to play RB and rotate in behind James Connor to prove that a certain former running back was not missed, not even a little bit. Once Pittsburgh is comfortably up by 4 touchdowns, John Smith comes in and take the ball over the right tackle for 10 yards. Well done. Darren Powell, Greg Schmidt and Scotty Hamilton each run for gains of 8, 12 and 15 yards respectively. Kudos to you. Finally, Shawn ‘The Bug’ Freeman breaks free and busts a 40 yard touchdown run of his own as the final fan Disappreciation run of the day. The crowd goes wild waving their terrible towels. In a show of their German heritage, a pair of black and gold lederhosen gets thrown onto the field while an almost naked fan jumps over the railing behind the end zone. Only a terrible towel covers his terrible wienerschnitzel as he is tackled by security at the 50 yard line. Point made. Le’Veon Bell can be replaced and has been admirably by one James Connor. 
I think we are tired of hearing about Le’Veon Bell. In case you don’t get my joke about Pittsburgh and their German heritage, there’s a wonderful invention called Google. You should try it sometime! As for the actual game prediction, I think this will be an entertaining, possibly back and forth affair and most certainly high scoring. I do think that with San Diego coming west, and with Big Ben playing at home that Pittsburgh will come out victorious. And because of the potential playoff implications with New England, the NFL thanks you. 
Final Score: Pittsburgh 27 San Diego (Los Angeles) 24
 
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 13.

Welcome to Week 11 Blitzers. Raise your hand if you watched that Monday Night game. If you didn’t, you missed one hell of a fireworks show. It was haymaker after haymaker of offensive prowess that in this bartender’s opinion could have used a little less referee interference. My prediction may have been off regarding the outcome, but Kansas City had more than enough opportunities to put LA away and/or pull off the last second-come-from-behind-victory (can you call it that in this type of game?). I think it should be mandatory that these two teams meet every year for the next 10 years as long as Mahomes and Goff are at the helm. While we’re at it, let’s start with a rematch on February 3, 2019 at Mercedes Benz Stadium for Super Bowl LIII. If that happens, then at least the Patriots won’t be in it! I think the guys felt the same way on the podcast. If want to know why, then you must have missed this week’s episode. You can catch it here:

I’m thankful for a lot of things in my life. I’m thankful for the guys here at Blitzed NFL for giving me this opportunity to write each and every week about football (even though they blame me for anything that goes wrong now… thanks guys). I’m thankful for my family, friends, career and health. I’m also thankful that I was able to actually stay awake here on the east coast to watch the end of that Monday Night game. I’m seeing a theme here… Seeing as its Thanksgiving, I got to thinking “What are NFL teams thankful for this season?” Watching this past week, I decided this week’s blog should be dedicated to this year’s rookie class because let’s face it: Its hit or miss when a team’s draft pick actually becomes a star. Hello Jamarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf. However, when a draft pick does pan out (Shannon Sharpe -7th Round or Joe Montana- 3rd Round), there’s certainly a lot to be thankful for. Here are my Rookie Thanksgiving Feasts from 2018 so far that their respective teams have a lot to be thankful for.

2018 Rookie Thanksgiving Feasts

Darius Leonard (IND)
Can you say 2nd round steal? Leonard has been absolutely dominant in his rookie season and has given Indianapolis every reason to give thanks this holiday season. Currently one of the top dogs in the Defensive Rookie of the Year chase, he’s one of the main reasons (outside of the miraculous return of Andrew Luck) the Colts have surged back into the AFC wild card race. The front office in Indy is certainly raising their glasses at their Thanksgiving table and saying thank you to the 36th overall pick out of South Carolina.
Blitzed Rookie Stats: 104 tackles, 5.0 sacks, 4 forced fumbles, 2 fumble recoveries, 1 INT, 3 PD

Phillip Lindsay (DEN)
If you think a 2nd round pick is a steal, this next rookie is grand larceny in terms of draft picks. This undrafted free agent from Colorado stayed local and signed with his hometown Broncos. Elway is drunk with love (not vodka unfortunately) this Thanksgiving thanks to the production Lindsay has given him all while splitting time with another drafted rookie- Royce Freeman. It's Lindsay, however who seems to be more explosive and given the team better stats each week. Expect Lindsay to see more touches the rest of the way.
Blitzed Rookie Stats: 670 yds rush, 5.5 avg, 5 TD; 24 rec 187 yds 1 TD

Saquon Barkley (NYG)
Saquon Barkley is the significant other that is invited to Thanksgiving dinner and meets the family for the very first time. Tons of pressure. Crazy environment. Every move analyzed. I don’t know about you, but the 2nd overall pick from Penn St has made the Giants forget about Sam Darnold (or any of the other QBs taken in the draft that the Giants may have stupidly considered taking instead of Barkley) and has passed the tests with flying colors. The Giants love him. NY loves him. This bartender loves him and now he’s in the other room taking shots with Uncle Charlie and Aunt Shirley. Tests passed.
​Blitzed Rookie Stats: 728 yds rush 7TDs; 64 rec 540 yds 3 TDs)

Derwin James (LAC)
Quick question Blitzers- who is currently leading the Pro Bowl voting for safety in both the AFC or NFC? That’s right, the 17th overall pick from Florida State is the leading vote-getter thus far (I know its still early but that’s crazy for a rookie considering the other established safeties in the NFL). San Dieg-er- Los Angeles is very quietly putting together a great year and James is leading a defense that is extremely difficult to pass on. The reason the Chargers are so thankful for James is he fell to them at pick 17 when he was projected to go in the top 10. That’s like having your favorite dessert all to yourself at Thanksgiving, after you come out of your food coma from dinner. Or maybe you just hid the dessert like I do every year. SHH.. don’t tell my Mom. I promise you, though, no one hid Derwin James from the other 16 teams who passed on him.
Blitzed Rookie Stats: 62 tackles, 3.5 sacks, 1 INT, 7 PD

​So onto the game of the week. This week’s game features two teams that do not have much to be thankful for this year other than, well, hoping to position themselves to land a guy like one of the Feasts above. Folks, I give you the San Francisco 49ers (2-8) vs the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-7) as my Boozy Game of the Week. Why, Barkeep? Why would you do this to us? Well, because sometimes you just need a reason to drink - and this drink looks awesome. 

Blackbeard Cocktail:
1 ½ oz. Kraken Black Spiced Rum
2 oz. Guinness Stout
Coke
Blitzed Build: Combine Kraken and Coke in a half pint glass, top with Guinness

Unlike last week, this is not a preview of Super Bowl XLIII. The Niners lost their top offseason acquisition in the preseason, then their stud, adult-actress-dating quarterback during Week 3 (both to ACL tears). They are also the current holder of the top pick in the 2019 NFL draft. The Bucs have rotated starting QBs this year more than the Kardashians have rotated NBA players through their bedrooms. Neither have been good decisions and neither seem to have ended very well. Regardless, both teams had promising starts to the season that were derailed very quickly, which gives both teams reasons to drink. ​

So lets drink! Jameis Winston gets the start for Tampa Bay again. After throwing several passes to the wrong red-colored jerseys, he decides to take a cab ride (alone) to the super market for some delicious crab legs. Ryan Fitztragic continues the tradition of great season starts and terrible season finishes (I’m a Bills fan, I know.) and comes in to save the day, or so it would seem. After leading Tampa to back to back touchdown drives to take the lead, he proceeds to throw back to back interceptions, raising San Francisco’s total to 7 on the day. Coach Koetter has had enough and decides to instill a run only offense for the rest of the day. With San Francisco leading by 3, Fitzpatrick somehow still throws a 3rd interception without throwing the ball, with under a minute left. San Francisco wins the game, moves to 3-7 and ruins its chances to tank the season for the 1st overall pick in next year’s draft.

No seriously, that was close to my prediction. Except Winston isn’t going to go steal any crab legs. Or take a cab ride… alone… again. I do think this is going to be a sloppy game with several turnovers on both sides. We may see a QB switch AGAIN if Winston can’t produce. San Francisco has turned its offense over to undrafted-free-agent-wonder Nick Mullens (will he become a Thanksgiving feast?) and Tampa Bay still has a really good offense if they can clean up the mistakes. I think San Francisco keeps the first overall pick for the time being and Tampa pulls this one out at home.

Final Score: Tampa Bay 30 San Fran 21

​Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 12.

Welcome to Week 11 Blitzers. Boy was I wrong on last week’s game of the week prediction. Being a devout member of Bills Mafia, I can attest that 95% of the NFL did NOT see that coming. The other 5% that claims they did, clearly needed a breathalyzer test before they left the Blitzed Bar after drinking those delicious Roaming Buffalos.
I would like to thank the guys for the heartfelt compliments this week regarding my drink concoctions so far. I can honestly say that I’m happy that I’m able to recommend both a tasty and intoxicatingly influential product for them each week. I like to measure my drinks by how well the guys can speak by 3rd and 4th down as well as how difficult it becomes to say things such as “McVay”. Seriously guys, is it that difficult to say “McVay”? Based on the amount of laughing I did, the difficulty the guys had talking and the fun they had this week, the Roaming Buffalo got a 9.5 out of 10 on the Blitzed Booze Rating Scale. You can listen to the podcasts yourself to see why it’s so entertaining. ​

Week 11 provided plenty of entertaining studs itself. First, a fun fact for all you Blitzers out there- did you know that Boston and Massachusetts banned happy hour? That’s right. No wonder no Patriots players ever get on this list. Just kidding. This Barkeep just doesn’t like them. New England actually did make this week’s list but it’s not for the same reasons as our Blitzed Coach alluded to on the podcast. (*shakes head disapprovingly*) Let’s recap Week 10 Blitzed_barkeep style.
​
Week 11 Happy Hour Studs:

Mitchell Trubisky (CHI)
Have yourself a week Mitchell Trubisky. The 2017 2nd overall pick of Da Bears is truly coming into his own this year and he put on a show against the team that shut down the ‘oh-so-great’ Tom Brady in Week 3. Your next round is on me, sir.
​Week 11 Blitzed Stats: 23-30, 355 yds 3 TDs 0 INTs (W 34-22)

Ben Roethlisberger (PIT)
Every time you think Big Ben might be slowing down, he turns in another performance like this. Pittsburgh hit Carolina so hard on Thursday night, Cam Newton’s clothes came back INTO style. They were quick, efficient and struck from everywhere on the field including the longest scoring play in the Steelers storied history. This bartender was seriously impressed.
Week 11 Blitzed Stats: 22-25, 328 yds 5TDs 0 INTs (W 52-21)

Tennessee Titans
The New England Patriots are like Monday mornings. No one likes them yet everyone has to deal with them every, single week. However, Monday mornings are so much better when the Patriots lose. The Titans harassed Brady so much in this game that he was pulled mid-way through the 4th quarter for Brian Hoyer, unable to finish his 300th game. Too bad. No one on Team Blitzed is shedding any tears. Instead they’re raising their glasses while yelling ‘Titan Up!” Well Done.
(W 34-10)

Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb (CLE)
How do you not put this Dynamic Duo on this list of studs this week? One woke up feeling dangerous and the other made the Falcons defense look foolish all day. The decision to fire Hue Jackson paid immediate dividends as the Browns looked like a team finally ready to say ‘enough is enough’. I just ask one thing Baker- make sure you even out that tan before any more tighty-whitey advertisements.
Week 11 Blitzed Stats: Mayfield- 17-20 216 yds 3 TDs 0 INTs;
​Chubb- 176 yds rush 1TD, 3 REC, 33 yds 1 TD (W 28-16)

This week’s studs delivered some special plays and certainly impressive stats. Well, this week’s game of the week es muy especial tambien. La problema es que el campo era tan malo que la NFL decidiò mover el juego a Los Angeles. Solo porque el juego no està en la cuidad de Mèxico, no cambia mi selecciòn para el juego de la semana. Esto podrìa ser una vista previa del Super Bowl 53. That’s right, your Barkeep knows a little Spanish too. If it were still in Mexico City, the drink of the week and this column would have had a much different theme. Unfortunately, I’ll translate and tell you that the field conditions were so bad, the game is not in Mexico City anymore and was moved back to Los Angeles. Either way, it could be a preview of Super Bowl 53. International or not, my game of the week is the Kansas City Chiefs (9-1) vs the Los Angeles Rams (9-1). The drink of the week might not be as multi-cultural as I had originally planned… however it promises to be just as delicious.

Kansas City Ice Water:
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Tito’s Vodka
½ oz Triple Sec
1 dash(es) Grenadine
1/4 oz. fresh squeezed Lime Juice
Lemon Lime soda (sprite or sierra mist)
Blitzed Build: Combine gin, vodka, lime juice and triple sec with ice into a shaker. Shake vigorously and strain into a pint glass over rocks. Fill with lemon lime soda. Add a splash of grenadine or cherry juice to give it the red Chiefs color. Garnish with a lime wedge.

First, why is this my game of the week? Both offenses are highly potent. The Rams are 2nd in the NFL in rushing (144.8 yards per game), 2nd in total yards per game (448.0) and 3rd in scoring (33.5 pts per game). The Chiefs are right there with the Rams and rank 3rd in total yards (423.1 per game) and 2nd in scoring (35.3 pts per game). Both teams have MVP candidates in Todd Gurley (LAR) and Patrick Mahomes II (KC). The result of all this offense? Only the highest Vegas over/under lines in NFL history at 63.5 and what’s sure to be an explosive, highly competitive contest.

So let’s drink some Kansas City Ice Waters and have some fun. Both teams showed up to Mexico City. They stayed the week to get some sight-seeing in before the game. Jet lag plays a major role here and both offenses fail to live up to the hype. Deciding that Mexico City was more fun, someone breaks out the bottles of tequila that got snuck into the stadium. An impromptu fiesta at half-time ensues and helmets turn into sombreros. Football takes a backseat while Mahomes, Goff, Gurley, Hill, and Hunt quit football to pursue their life long goal of forming a mariachi band. They call themselves ‘Los Jefes’ and perform their first song for the random ‘Tour of the Stars’ bus that somehow got lost and found its way into the LA Coliseum. 

Cameras flash while off in the distance Aaron Donald sacks a piñata, bursting it open. Mini Oscar-shaped chocolates burst out. Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr. and Matt Damon sprint onto the field and begin fighting over the chocolate awards but are seen quickly being ushered off by the LAPD while yelling ‘But it’s the only time we’ll ever get one!” The referees decide that since Hollywood-Hell has broken loose, they would enlist a running clock. LA somehow manages a last second field goal and wins the game 3-0.
Well that was fun. Instead of the Kansas City Ice Waters, let’s slow down and have some regular water. I gave you the stats above, and in all reality this should be a high scoring game. The difference here is that the Rams defense has been vulnerable of late while the Chiefs defense has been rather good over the past 5 weeks. My bold prediction for this week is the Chiefs make a stand when they need it most and will hand the Rams a 2nd loss on the year. Final Score Prediction: Chiefs 49 Rams 45.
Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 11.

Welcome to Week 10 Team Blitzed. We’ve reached the halfway point and so far, your Barkeep has gone 3 for 3 on drinks for the guys, as well as two out of three on his Game of the Week predictions. The Saints killed it this week taking down the previously unbeaten Rams in convincing fashion. From the wicked hangover Stats Guy had the next morning, the guys also took down the Vieux Carré in convincing fashion and produced yet another great show. If only saying the name was as easy as it was to drink. You can listen to it here:

Being the Mid-Point of the season, I decided to offer up my Blitzed Barkeep’s MVP race. This however, will have a bartender’s twist to it. You see, there are different types of bartenders based on their style of serving drinks. These are my (and pretty much everyone else’s who’s paid attention this year) top four MVP candidates at this point in the 2018 NFL season.

THE MIXOLOGIST- Drew Brees
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​A mixologist in the bar industry is someone who genuinely cares about their craft. They study it. They understand it. They live it. But most importantly, they’re better at it than you. They balance everything and can make anything in the bar work together just by looking it. It’s a real treat to be served by a mixologist. This is Drew Brees. He’s smart, crafty and he makes every weapon in his arsenal more dangerous. At the age of 39, he’s having one of the best seasons ever for a QB in history. If ever he deserved the award, it’s this year.
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​Blitzed MVP Stats: 76.3% 2,336 yds, 18 TDs 1 INT

THE FLAIR BARTENDER- Patrick Mahomes II
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​A flair bartender puts on a show. They flip bottles behind their back, pour 10 shots at a time out of shakers five feet in the air and light drinks on fire before sliding them across the bar to you. They’re exciting, entertaining and people are drawn to flair bartenders because hell, they’re cool. Patrick Mahomes II is the definition of cool. He grew up hanging out with MLB superstars. He never panics. He’ll escape, run around seemingly for fun all while taunting the defenders then uncork a 75 yard pass- IN THE AIR- for a TD and smile while doing it. More importantly his team is winning to the tune of an 8-1 record and the current home-field advantage in the playoffs.

​Blitzed MVP Stats: 66.2% 2,901 yds, 29 TDs 7 INTs

THE DIVE BARTENDER- Todd Gurley

​Dive bartenders are gritty, hard workers that work in the trenches. Their workplace is not very clean. They have loyal customers who will come back over and over for the same crappy beer because it’s their bar and you’re their bartender. Todd Gurley is certainly the dive bartender of my candidates. He’s not flashy. He doesn’t really need anyone else. But damn he’s good. He shows up day in and day out and gets the job done no matter what. LA loves him and he’s their running back.

​Blitzed MVP Stats: 868 rush yds 12 TDs, 37 catches 362 yds 4TDs

THE CLUB BARTENDER- Aaron Rodgers
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​This is the unsung drink slinger of the bartending world. The workplace is hot and loud. Drinks are spilling everywhere. Customers have no idea what they’re ordering and its chaos night in and night out. Aaron Rodgers’ talents seem to be lost in Green Bay. It’s chaos all around him and the team never seems to get it together. He consistently puts together MVP statistics every year but the team does not. He deserves better- plain and simple. Oh, and he’s basically done it this year on one leg.

Blitzed MVP Stats: 60.6% 2,542 yds, 15 TDs 1 INT

While those four guys are having great years, the Blitzed Bar_keep’s Twitter Poll landed on a team that’s not having an MVP-type year for this week’s Game of the Week. The Buffalo Bills’ season has left many from the Bills Mafia with a reason to get Blitzed. Therefore, this week’s drink of the week is the Roaming Buffalo Cocktail, inspired by the Buffalo Bills.

Roaming Buffalo Cocktail
1 1/2 oz. Buffalo Trace Bourbon
1/2 oz. Light Rum
1 dash(es) Grenadine
1/4 oz. Lemon Juice
1/4 oz. Orange Juice
Blitzed Build: Combine ingredients with ice into a shaker. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with small lemon or orange slice.

Originally, the story line for this game was interesting. This would be 3rd overall pick Sam Darnold facing off for the first time against 7th overall pick Josh Allen. Many Bills and Jets fans hoped that this would be the beginning of a great quarterback rivalry and the changing of the guard in the AFC East. Instead, we get Derek Anderson *Bills Mafia drink* or Nathan Peterman *Bills Mafia takes ten drinks* vs Josh McCown *Jets fans drink*.

I am however, your Blitzed Barkeep so here is how this will play out. The Buffalo Bills, fuelled on the power of the Roaming Buffalo, turn again to Nathan Peterman after Derek Anderson proves ineffective in the first half. With the score tied 0-0, Peterman lifts up his jersey to reveal a Superman logo and says he was hustling us all along and starts tossing perfect pass after perfect pass. The Bills put on an offensive show in the 2nd half scoring six touchdowns (doubling their season total) and the Jets never knew what hit them. Peterman’s streak of pick 6’s ends and he is named starter for the rest of the year. The city of Buffalo builds him a statue and names an elementary school after him to apologize for starting a GoFundMe retirement fund.

Fortunately, reality has set in and I’ve sobered up a bit from my Roaming Buffalos. The Bills are not going to be fixed offensively this year. They simply don't have the talent on the OL or in the WR groups, and are performing at a historically bad rate this year. The Jets have a good defense and will have zero problems handling the ineptitude of the Bills offense. A mistake by the Bills with a short field, or too many three and outs will lead the Jets to a very ugly victory.

Final Score Prediction: Jets 12 Bills 6
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Well Blitzers, that’s all from your Blitzed Barkeep for now. Remember to drink responsibly, take Brady’s name in vain and always give your keys to a friend if you’ve had too much. Tune in to the Blitzed NFL podcast this Tuesday to hear the guys review this week’s drink of the week and recap all of the action during Week 10.