Barkeep's 2019 Season Preview

It's officially football season Blitzers and I’m back as your weekly Blitzed Barkeep to give you all the insight from the week’s action in the NFL. Basically, which players had too much to drink, which ones should have gotten drunk and which fans are going to need one of my cocktails in the coming week. The guys have been busy figuring out life in front of a camera. I’m sure the blame falls squarely on the production manager, Clippy. It’s nice for them not to blame to the one feeding them the booze for once. If you’ve been under a rock or just didn’t care to watch them in person (which I don’t blame you since none of the guys are exactly ‘eye candy’), you can catch their latest podcast here to wet your whistle until this week’s edition comes out:

I wanted to wait as long as I could until all of the dust settled, the injuries occurred, the rosters were cut to 53 and the last-minute trades were made before doing my season preview. Clearly, the fans down in Miami are going to be frustrated with this year while Houston is making trades like its Madden ’20 (Madden declined that Clowney trade according to multiple twitter users just so everyone knows) and gearing up for a potential XLIII run. So, who do I have winning it all? Let’s dive into that here. ​

AFC East

Who can take down the Evil Empire and prevent them from winning their 100th division title in a row? It only seems like its been that long, or that Brady has been playing that long but seriously, when are the Bills or Jets going to man up? Clearly this isn’t the Dolphins year. The Patriots look primed and ready to repeat as division champs yet again although Buffalo and the Jets are gaining ground. This Barkeep may be a little biased towards his Bills (and maybe had one too many cocktails before writing this) but until someone proves they can beat Brady, the division is theirs to keep.

Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
New England 12-4*; Buffalo 10-6*; New York 7-9; Miami 2-14

AFC North

Going back to the realignment in 2002, Pittsburgh (8), Baltimore (5) and Cincinnati (4) have been the division winners in the North. Traditionally, this division is a beast and they beat the hell out of each other. This year should be no different, with the exception that there’s a new dog in this race who might have something to say come January- the boys on the lake in Cleveland. Pittsburgh lost Bell and Brown. Baltimore got younger with Jackson and two rookie wide receivers. They also lost some key defensive players. On paper, Cleveland’s the best team in the division talent-wise. I do believe they are still lacking in the OL department which could affect their offense to an extent, but if their talent can overcome that, they are an extremely scary team to prepare for. When it’s all said and done, I think this is the year they get over the hump and finally win their first division title since 1989.

Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Cleveland 11-5*; Pittsburgh 9-7*; Baltimore 9-7; Cincinnati 6-10

AFC South

No division has undergone bigger changes than the AFC South. I originally had the Colts all over this division after a hell of a finish to the ’18-’19 season but with the shocking retirement of Luck, its hard to put them back atop the division. Jacksonville has a new man at the helm in Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles, but is he the man for the job? History may prove not so much (see: lacklustre career outside of Philadelphia). Tennessee is still meandering somewhere in the middle of the pack, annoyingly not playing up to the talent level they have on the field. Is this Mariota’s last shot? Finally, there’s Houston who has Watson, Watt and Fuller back (yes they lost Lamar Miller to a torn ACL, but traded for Duke Johnson, who I think will be just fine if not better utilized as a 3-down back), just pulled off two very big trades to get rid of a player causing a distraction and to protect their franchise QB. Seems to me, the direction to lean here is Houston taking the division.

Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Houston 10-6*; Jacksonville 9-7; Indianapolis 7-9; Tennessee 7-9

AFC West

The West is always a fun division to watch and man do these teams really hate each other. Every team is this division did something or things to improve themselves, with Oakland making the biggest splashes. The San Diego of Los Angeles Chargers have really been hit by the injury bug and then there’s that Melvin Gordon thing. Kudos to the Chargers for sticking to their guns. Denver has a new man in Flacco and that defense.

​Oakland, as mentioned above, improved a lot but we will have to wait and see how all those personalities mesh. Antonio Brown continues to crave attention in any way possible and that may be too much of a distraction to overcome. He should have been building a chemistry with his new quarterback and I still think even with their talent, they’re still the 4th best team in the division (sorry Raider fans, I hope you prove me wrong). I still have to go with Kansas City and reigning MVP Patrick Maholmes. Gone is Kareem Hunt. Doesn’t matter. They’re reloaded, improved their defense and ready to go the distance this year.
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Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Kansas City 13-3*; Los Angeles 9-7; Denver 8-8; Oakland 6-10

NFC East

The Giants unloaded Odell Beckham Jr. and everyone laughed at them drafting Daniel Jones with the 6th pick in the draft. Golden Tate is suspended. Washington is starting now-journey-man Case Keenum under center with hopes he can return to his Minnesota glory (Haskins will be starting before long). Dallas currently has a Zeke problem but does return a talented roster that will contend for the division. However, no team has repeated as NFC East division winners since ’02-’04 Philadelphia Eagles and I believe that the even more talented Eagles fly to the top of the division again this year, as long as Wentz can stay healthy.
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Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Philadelphia 11-5*; Dallas 10-6*; Washington 7-9; NYG 5-11

NFC North

Detroit has an exciting young running back in Kerryon Johnson that I like a lot, but I’m one of the guys who thinks Matthew Stafford is overrated. Detroit always seems to find ways to just mess it up, so I don’t seem them taking too many steps forward, if at all. Green Bay still has Aaron Rodgers and one of the top wide receivers in the league in Davonte Adams. I also like Aaron Jones to have a great year, but will their defense actually show up? For once? Minnesota still has Kirk Cousins who can’t seem to win a game when it counts on national TV but they have a great defense, one of the best wide receiver duos in the league and Dalvin Cook seems to be healthy.

Their problem this year is their schedule is absolutely brutal so I’m expecting a tough go, especially with their road schedule. If they can overcome that, they can be poised for a long playoff run. They may however be too beat up from the regular season. For the North though, I have to go with Chicago again. Trubisky started to put it together last year, they have an exciting new running back in David Montgomery, and a human wrecking ball with Khalil Mack that makes the league’s top defense just go.
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Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Chicago 11-5*; Minnesota 9-7; Green Bay 9-7; Detroit 6-10

NFC South

Tampa Bay has a new coach with new hopes of getting Jameis Winston to reach his full potential. There are questions still in a bunch of places in their roster that need to improve. Carolina’s biggest question mark is how will Cam Newton hold up? Christian McCaffery will be a stud this year and the offense should go through him. Their defense is always well prepared but Newton’s health will be the biggest reason for Carolina’s success or failure this year. The division will come down to Atlanta or New Orleans and I believe that New Orleans wins it once again. Atlanta is much improved (and healthy again) but New Orleans still has Drew Brees, Kamara, Thomas and a much-improved defense. Plus, that pass interference penalty from less than a year ago may be a driving point for revenge this season. 
 
Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
New Orleans 13-3*; Atlanta 10-6; Carolina 7-9; Tampa Bay 5-11

NFC West

Arizona shipped off one new toy for another in Kyler Murray and I think he will surprise some people. I just don’t think it will be this year. They have a long way to go in a tough division. San Francisco gets Jimmy G back but how will he hold up and will he return to form pre-torn-ACL? His health is a big factor in how the team does this year but there’s still some holes that need to be filled on that roster as well. Seattle just acquired Ja’Daveon Clowney for what I believe is a steal, and now gets to add him to a perennially stout defense. Russell Wilson will do Russell Wilson things but I still think the division belongs to the Rams. They’re just too good across the board, have three really good wide receivers, the league’s best defensive player in Aaron Donald and as long as Gurley’s knee holds up, one of the top five running backs in the league. Its going to be hard to stop them from repeating.

Blitzed Bartender Prediction:
Los Angeles 12-4*; Seattle 11-5*; San Fran 7-9; Arizona 3-13

AFC Playoffs

Wild Card: Buffalo over Houston; Cleveland over Pittsburgh
Divisional Round: Kansas City over Buffalo; New England over Cleveland
Championship Round: Kansas City over New England

NFC Playoffs

Wild Card: Chicago over Dallas; Philadelphia over Seattle
Divisional Round: New Orleans over Chicago; Los Angeles over Philadelphia
​Championship Round: New Orleans over Los Angeles

Super Bowl LIV

Kansas City over New Orleans

My Drink of the Week

There you have it folks - your Barkeep’s season preview. Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just looking at the schedules, the byes, the injuries and what the booze is telling me to say. Speaking of booze, here’s this week’s cocktail of the week that the guys are drinking on the show. I give you the Seelbach Cocktail. In honor of the official start to the NFL season, I wanted to have the guys pop a bottle of champagne to celebrate and since they love bourbon, this week’s drink will mix the two. Different but delicious.

The Seelbach Cocktail 
1 oz Old Forester bourbon
½ oz triple sec
7 dashes Angostura bitters
7 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
5 oz Korbel Brut, chilled
Orange twist, for garnish

Blitzed Build: In a mixing glass three-quarters filled with ice, combine the bourbon, triple sec and bitters. Stir until chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain the mixture into a Champagne flute. Top with the sparkling wine. Rub an orange twist around the rim of the cocktail and let it hang off the side of the flute for a garnish.
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That’s all for now Blitzers. I’ll be back next week to talk all things Week 1. It feels so good to say that! As always, remember to always take Brady’s name in vein, tip your bartenders on the way out and if you’ve had too much to drink, give your keys to a friend. ​

Author

The Blitzed Barkeep is a Buffalo Bills fan and a weekly columnist for Blitzed Football. You can follow him on Twitter and often hear him on the Blitzed Bills show on Buffalo Rumblings.